A toast to the new year approaching. Christmas lights reflect off of a champagne glass in a room full of the damned from the year 2016. Here I stand, tall and proud, heels from 2 years ago and hair that blows from a fan across the room.
Here’s to the first dance I will share with an old friend. The one who loved me the moment I walked in the room. The one I hurt the most. It has taken me years but this was the year that I owned up to my mistakes. As I fell down I should have never have taken you with me. Forgive me for I was young and careless. This dance was graceful. We had damaged each other the way a child ruins toys, carelessly. As if we had no clue that our actions were life altering. To this dance, we dance with passion. As you gave me some of life’s greatest lessons, and to that I hope one day you find a love greater than I. One that dances with water and not fire. To lift you in way I could not. I’m sorry.
Everything feels so surreal. Almost in slow motion as the violins play in harmony and each note so long. I run out the door for air and see you leaning against the brick wall outside the building, with whiskey in your hand. Here’s to the long night ahead, and the nights of lustful conversations of other worlds, under the stars. I share this drink with you for you protected me even when I pushed you off the ledge. When I abandoned you in the darkness we both called home and you watched me get lost. To you I wish the best, for I feel we both may never find anyone quite like ourselves to run with, to get lost with, to swim in the stars with. May time heal all wounds. I miss you.
I wonder back into the building when a tall figure walks by me, his face was unrecognizable but our eye contact was undeniable. He was lustful, he was careless, he held my hand with so much compassion as he kissed my cheek and told me to run away with him. So here’s to my recklessness, the nights of binge drinking and long summer days of freedom. To all the times I told myself to run and I actually ran. When I didn’t care where I woke up. The sun was so warm and the stars were so forgiving. I tell him we will meet another day. Goodbye.
The music becomes more fast pace and the lights dim. A woman approaches me as I sit at the bar alone. She’s beautiful, a smile that lights up a room. Her breath smells that of sweet liquor. Here’s to my best friend and woman I could never live without. Here’s to long nights spent together and days of questioning each other’s sanity. We talk and scream together like no one is watching. She laughs as our act becomes more ridiculous. Oh my, that laugh, a laugh that warms my soul. We kiss as yellow-orange lights, light up the silhouette of our faces, the crowd goes wild as we laugh and ask for more drinks. To you, I ask only to never leave me. Thank you.
The night reaches its peak and the smell of champagne fills the room. Dancing the dance of loneliness, to my surprise a man takes my hand. With eyes as green as the evergreens. We danced for hours and shared stories that we’ve never shared with anyone else. We lit up the room, as our souls became closer. My heart pounding as he pushed my hair back and told me he loved me. Here’s to my love, to the one I dance with in fire. To everything we’ve taught each other and all of our goals. To the soul I learn more and more about everyday. You are my greatest adventure and what I’d give to make sure it never ends. To the daily inspiration and nightly invitations. I love you.
So here’s to 2016. A year of countless people and countless days. May 2017 be filled with love, grace and more countless adventures.